do herpes really smell.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
COCAINE IS GR8
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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