If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
