Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I will die if light touches me.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
