I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
