last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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