just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do vagina's smell?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
