No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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