margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
