Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
