Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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