Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
