Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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