Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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