he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize