I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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