It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
