I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
