They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
