He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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