are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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