roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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