This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
