I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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