That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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