rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
