I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
