So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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