I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
