gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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