in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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