I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
