Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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