It's Friday. Sex?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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