Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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