is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
