i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
