you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
