For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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