sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He told me they were just razor bumps!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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