i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
