I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
