Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
