I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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