When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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