ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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