dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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