If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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