Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
