Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
