Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
