I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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