On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
