So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This is my gift to your gina
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
